How I Feel (Or so I Thought)
by Lioness Black
Summary: Five years after their prom night Kyle begins to rethink his relationship with Tess.


**Title:** How I Feel (Or so I Thought)   
**Author:** Lioness   
**Rating:** PG-13   
**Spoilers:** This story takes place after "Heart of Mine," but the Max/Tess stuff never happened. That's the only change.   
**Legal Stuff:** Roswell doesn't belong to me. I'm making no money. This is for entertainment purposes only. My entertainment, mostly.   
**Summary:** Five years after their prom night, Kyle begins to rethink his relationship with Tess.   
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Tess wanted to go to college in New York. I wanted to go to college in Chicago. She changed her mind and moved in with me. She had been my best friend since she invaded my life going onto six years ago. It's been four years that we've lived together. 

I went to the University, majoring in art of all things. I was on the football team, but early in my junior year, I injured my back, and to my and my coach's dismay, I was forced off the team. 

Tess went to a smaller college that didn't have a drama club, let alone a football team. She majored in history, and took a minor in foreign countries. I guess some sort of far cry to herself. 

Tess accused me of being a gay artist and I accused her of being a brainiac nerd. We lived in an apartment exactly half a mile from each of our respective colleges. For the first time since I'd been sharing a home with Tess, I got my very own bed. 

I remember Dad when we first told him that we were moving in together. He was sure we were going to kill each other. But four years later, Tess and I are both alive. I was graduating this year, but Tess was on the Bachelor's Program, and was going to be roughing college life for another year. 

Tess has been my best friend, and almost sister for the past six years. I know she feels the same way, just as much. 

Oh, why, oh, why do things have to change? 

"Kyle? Where the hell is my shampoo? I told you to buy more!" 

But some things never change. 

"I don't have an excuse, I forgot to buy some more!" I yelled back. I was pouring over my final projects, I didn't need to think about shampoo just then. 

"What am I supposed to use, then?" 

I could hear the water running. She'd probably been in the shower for about twenty minutes and she just realized that she didn't have any shampoo. "Use mine!" 

There was a long pause, "But then I'd have fifteen different people asking me why I smell like my brother." 

I didn't think we knew a total of fifteen mutual people. And did she just call me her brother? "Use it anyway," I called back to her, digging around for my long haired brush. I had to do this damn painting. I'd much rather do the computer arts, which is mostly what I studied, but I had one teacher who hated all of us graphic arts students and made us do paintings. I'd barely passed any class that had anything to do with actual painting. 

Abruptly, the water stopped. A few moments later Tess appeared in my doorway, dressed in only a towel, "Use it anyway?" She inquired, "Go out there and buy me some damn shampoo." 

I gave her my best glare, which wasn't all that great, "Why?" 

"Because I'm naked." 

"Get dressed." 

"I stink." 

"That I'll agree with." 

She stepped into the room and promptly hit me, and for a chick, Tess had a good arm, "Ow!" 

"Nice painting. What is it?" 

"It's supposed to be an abstract portrait. Then I have to do a portrait of the same person with details" 

"Who is it?" 

"I was trying to do you, but it wasn't working out. You're features just are too abstract all the time." She hit me again. 

"You should do Max." 

I thought for a moment, "Evans?" 

"No, Norway," She replied mentioning the guy down at the deli. "Of course Evans. He has really good features that would look great abstract. And he would be good for your detailed painting too." 

"I couldn't remember his features that well. It's been four years since I've seen the guy. Or even thought about him." 

"Have you ever heard of a photo?" She asked sarcastically. 

"Yeah, but pictures of Evans are not what fill my pages." 

"I've got some. I'll get one for you." She left my room without letting me say a word. She came back in a few minutes later with a handful of pictures, "Here, use one of these. I have to get dressed and buy some shampoo." 

That was your typical day in the household of Kyle Valenti and Tess Harding. 

I looked over the photos. Max's senior picture. Snapshot of him and Liz. Oh, here was our prom picture that Maria's cousin took. Sheesh, talk about memories. And people I haven't thought about in years. 

I kept up with Maria, being her stepbrother and all. She was happy in New York, going to college and being a singer. Of course it has been month since I'd actually _spoken_ to her. I got most of the information from my father. 

But the rest of these people. Man. Alex Whitman. Geez, what would he be doing now, anyway? Isabel Evans, I still have money that she's going to be on the cover of People Magazine. Number one: Most beautiful person. She was a knockout. Michael Guerin. Jail, my guess. I don't know. Liz. Probably a microbiologist or something long-titled like that. Ha, or even married to Max. Being _soulmates_ and all. 

I wondered if Tess kept in contact with them behind my back. Which would be all right, I guess. I mean, there is no one like her, or them for that matter, out there. 

I found a really nice one of him and Isabel. Looked like family portraits. I set the others aside and got to work. 

"Kyle, you still here?" 

I looked up at my painting and realized I had a lot done. It barely seemed like I'd been working. Just thinking, "Yeah, I'm still here." 

She came in and sat down on my bed, setting the plastic bag, which had much more than shampoo in it, on the floor, "You found one of the pictures that you liked?" She kicked her shoes off. 

"Yeah, one of him and Knockout Evans," I replied, digging around through my box for another brush. 

She giggled and picked up the pictures I'd set aside. Her face grew more solemn, "I wonder what they're all doing now." 

So, she _hadn't_ been in contact with them. I shrugged, "I was thinking just that same thought. Came across the prom picture." 

She laughed, "You look like such a dope with your hair gelled back. I thought that then, I still think so." 

"You let me go to our prom when you seriously thought I looked like a dope?" I asked, grabbing the picture from her. 

"Yes, both of them, actually." 

"Who did you go with senior year?" I asked. 

"One of your jocky friends. Tried to put the moves on me. Boy, did he not know what was coming to him." 

"All of them were perverts," I muttered absently, thinking about what had gone on between Tess and I when we had gone to the prom together. When we had gone into the eraser room. I told her how I felt about her. She was my sister. Then we found Evans and Liz kissing in the hallway. It was an interesting experience. 

"Whoohoo, Kyle?" 

"What?" I asked, coming back to reality. 

"I asked who you went to senior prom with." 

"One of Knockout's knockout friends. I don't even remember her name. The tall one." 

"They were all tall," Tess said, grinning, "I felt like such the midget around them." 

"Oh, high school. How I mourn for thee," I said, tossing the picture back onto the bed. 

"You got green paint on my prom picture, you jerk," She said, wiping the paint away with her powers. 

"Easy fix. Howabout you do this project for me, so I can stuff it up my teacher's ass? Show her I can do something decent." I winked at her, as I rinsed my brush out. 

"But it wouldn't be so much fun, since you really hadn't done it." 

"Good point. At least my graphic teachers love me." I mumbled, filling my brush up with paint. 

When I had finally gotten the abstract portrait where I wanted it, I glanced at my watch. I'd been working on it for an hour and half. Geez. I glanced over at my bed. Tess was gone. That's right. She had a class tonight. Tess was the biggest night-owl I'd ever met. Almost ninety percent of her classes were night classes. 

"Well, looks like it's time to get into the major details of Evans," I mumbled to myself. Just then the phone rang. At least it didn't ring while I was concentrating so hard. Or maybe it had, and I wasn't paying attention. Which was likely. 

I got up and went into Tess's room. She always left the phone lying on the right side of her bed. Yup, there it was ringing away happily. I scooped it up, "Hello?" 

"Hey, bro." 

Maria and I had only been 'family' for about a year and half, but somehow we got along and fell instantly into step. Maybe it was just how we'd known each other for forever, and we didn't hate each other, even then, we'd been on almost every kind of relationship two people could be in, brother and sister was just another on the list. 

"Hey, 'Ria." 

"You sound tired." She observed. 

"Well, I have been up half the night doing this damn painting. And it's even later there. What the hell are you doing up?" 

"Work. It's four-thirty. I just got back from the club. And I have a class at in two hours. So, I'm staying up. I'm a bitch with less than seven hours." She replied cheerfully. 

"So, you decided to call on the off chance you'd be waking me up?" I asked. 

"Yeah, basically," I could practically hear her grinning, "besides, if you weren't up, Tess would be." 

"Tess is at class, so if I was asleep you would have woken me up," Every woman I came in contact with, I ended up in sibling banter. 

"What were you doing a painting of?" Maria was always interested in my work. 

"Abstract painting. Tess talked me into using, get this, Max Evans as my subject." 

Ria laughed, "I haven't thought about him in ages. Sheesh, got to bring up some high school memories there, I bet." 

"Yeah, Tess brought in that picture of all of us at the prom." 

"When we were juniors? I remember my dress for that thing. What was I? Flower girl of the year?" 

I laughed, "I started thinking about all the others. I mean, have you talked to any of them recently?" 

"I lost contact with Michael about three years ago. Once I moved away, it was over. Liz, last year sometime. I can't remember. I get Christmas cards from Alex, but we never talk. I can't help but not lose contact with you. Or Tess for that matter. You two living together and all. That sounds bad. Like you're two are...ew." 

"Thank you. You always act like I'm incapable of attracting women." 

"Well..." 

"Shut up," I said, good naturedly. 

"I was just saying that 'living together' makes it sound like you and Tess are like... _living together_. If you catch my drift, bro." 

"Loud and clear. And FYI, if we were _living together_ it wouldn't be any of your business." 

"Hello, I am not only a woman, but your sister. _Of course_ it's my business. So, are you just saying that hypothetically, or are you two..._living together_?" Ria asked eagerly. 

"Completely hypothetical," I answered. 

"What is that in your voice? You want to be _living together_ with Tess, don't you? Ooh, you have a crush on her, don't you?" 

"That's juvenile, 'Ria." 

"But it's tru-ue," She said in a singsong voice. 

"It's bullshit." 

"Kyle gets defensive. Oh, yeah, it's true. Oh gosh, maybe it's even subconscious. Like even you don't know that you want to screw Tess." 

"Did I say anything about screwing her?" 

"Screwing who?" Tess asked, walking in the door, "Kyle, you gonna get laid?" 

"Not anytime soon if I don't get off the phone with my loud-mouth sister," I said, talking more to Ria than Tess. 

"Ooh, lemme talk to Tess!" Ria squealed in my ear. 

"Sure, but you better keep your big mouth closed." 

"So, it _is_ true. That's all I wanted to know. Now I need some serious girl talk. Night night, bro." 

"Night, 'Ria," I said, handing the phone over to Tess. Those two could talk for hours. 

I walked back into my room, which reeked of paint. I stripped down to my boxers and got into bed. Unlike Tess, I needed sleep. 

  
  
  
Being the good little student, I was up early, sitting on the couch drinking a cup of coffee, over an hour before I had to leave. I had already showered and had my painting covered, ready to go through the morning rain. I decided to get it into the school as soon as I could, and then take its companion piece in tomorrow. 

Tess stumbled out of her room, looking like creature from the black lagoon. I don't know why she just doesn't sleep late, when she can. But she always gets up early. I'm sure she goes back to bed, or sleeps on the couch. 

"Morning, sunshine," I said, glancing over at her. 

She went into the kitchen and wordlessly poured herself a cup or coffee and grabbed the large bottle of Tabasco sauce we always kept handy. She plopped down next to me. "Morn." 

"What time did you go to bed?" 

"Five." 

"Two hours of sleep? Will you last the day?" 

"After coffee, yeah." She said, pouring the Tabasco into her mug, "I don't need much." 

"You should get more sleep. You look like shit." 

"You know exactly how to make a girl feel good, Kyle." 

"Thank you, madam alien." 

She glared at me, but in a friendly way, if that makes any sense, "So, what were you and Maria talking about last night, anyway? Seriously, are you screwing around with someone behind my back?" 

"No, if I was screwing around with someone, you'd be the first to know, because I'd be so damn happy." 

"Unless it's a guy. Kyle, are you gay?" She asked, turning herself so she was facing me. She looked way too interested. 

"I am most certainly not gay." 

"You are an art student." 

"Are all artists gay?" 

"Ninety-eight percent I'm sure." She said, sipping her coffee knowingly. 

"How many artists do you know?" 

She paused, "One. You." 

"Am I really that freaking obviously gay?" 

"Nope." 

"Stereotyper. What if I said all aliens were a bunch of prissies who couldn't handle the taste of plain cake, just because they're, oh I don't know, impotent." 

"Bastard." 

"Thank you." 

"So, if you're not gay, who were you talking about screwing?" 

"We were talking about my lack of sex." 

"Sounded more like you were talking about who you'd _like_ to screw. Are you going to be so much a bitch that you're not going to tell your bestest friend in the wholest widest worldest?" 

I hesitated, "Maria accused me of subconsciously wanting to screw you," I muttered quickly. 

Tess's jaw dropped, "Me? You want to screw me?" 

"Subconsciously," I reminded. 

"You know, Kyle, that's just messed up. We just aren't like that." 

"That's what I tried to tell her, but she just liked the idea of it. Too many soap operas for her. I should talk to Amy about that." 

"Which reminds me, it's almost summer. What we doing, boy? I mean, god, what are you doing? You're graduating. I almost forgot, go me. You don't plan to work at the grocery store for the rest of your life with a degree in art, now do you?" 

"I don't know. I suppose after I graduate I'll have to get a real job, since I'll have all of my loans to pay off. Even if I'd love to go back to Roswell for the summer. You know, one last time for the most screwed up ex-teenagers in the world." I said, glancing down at my watch, "And I should be going." 

"You still have like half an hour before you have to leave," Tess argued. 

"I should get going anyway. Get there early and all." 

"Okay, senior. You go be a choir boy." 

I got up and grabbed my painting, which was lying up against the side of the couch. I smiled at her, "Listen, why don't we do something tonight? You busy?" 

"Not in the least. I have a class at one, though. What you have in mind?" She asked, turning so she was looking at me, "Dancing?" 

"You've seen me dance." 

"And you're good for a guy. We could go party hopping." 

"It's Thursday. No one has decent parties on Thursdays." 

"Okay, screw that, let's go to a club. Get drunk. I've never in my life seen you drunk." 

"And you haven't for a reason," I said, "and I was thinking we could maybe, perhaps, spend some of my father's hard earned money, that I never spend. He's been sending us money since we moved in here, but with their being two of us working the way we do, we've barely needed it so, we've got a lot of money stashed away." That was a lie. We had about fifty bucks in my back account. That does not qualify for "a lot," but she didn't know that. 

"Why didn't you tell him that we didn't need the money?" Tess asked. 

"Because I thought we could go spend it all in one night during our senior year." 

"Ooh, good plan." 

"Actually, I figured I'd have a girlfriend and could spend it on her, but you'll have to make do." 

"Don't expect the sex afterwards," She said with a grin. Great, she was mocking me. 

"Believe me, I won't," I replied dryly, walking out the door. 

  
  
  
"Kyle! Hey, Valenti!" 

I turned around. Running up towards me was Lisa Ferguson. She was one of those people I'd known since I started at this school, we were in the same major, same year. She lived only up the street from Tess and I, so we often would take the bus together. "Where's the fire?" I asked. 

"You're the fire. My god, what was that painting you turned in?" 

My body suddenly went numb, "What was wrong with it?" I asked, staring at her. 

"Nothing! It's so good. Even Roebuck liked it," She said, her eyes open wide. Tate Roebuck was this conceited guy who I absolutely hated. He was on the football team with me, and I think he was glad when I was injured. 

"No shit?" 

"Well, I think there was a reason for that. See, Shady Salem has it up in her classroom. And Roebuck stopped by for some kiss-up reason and saw it. She was raving about it, and then he saw her liking it. So, yes-man starting raving about it too. he asked who it was by, and she said you, and my god! I wish I had a camera! You know how his eyes always bug out?" Shady Salem is what we all call teacher from hell. 

I felt a laugh rumbling in my stomach, "Yeah?" 

"I was afraid they were going to pop out." Lisa said, laughing. 

I laughed as well, "So, what did you think about it?" 

"It's fantastic. I've never seen an abstract painting like it. Who was your subject?" 

"This guy I knew in high school. Tess mentioned him, and she had some old pictures. I just used one of those." 

"Old friend, eh? Probably don't even speak to him anymore, do you?" 

"Actually, I hated his guts, he stole my girlfriend. And I'm only in contact with two people I knew in high school, but one of them is my roommate and the other is my stepsister, so that might be it." 

Lisa grinned, "I've got to go, but when you see Roebuck, rub it in his face. And I can't wait to see it's companion piece. Say hey to Tess for me," And with that, she was gone. Lisa never hung around for very long. 

  
  
  
That night Tess and I were walking down the sidewalk, to the bus stop. We were going out to this restaurant we both happen to like. But it's past her school, so it would be a bit of a long walk. 

"I told you painting Max was a good idea. Isn't he perfect for that sort of thing?" She was saying, but I wasn't really paying attention. 

"What? Oh, yeah." 

"Kyle, you okay?" 

"I'm fine, just worn out. After we get back home I'll have to work on the next piece. And Shady's expecting something great now that I've submitted this supposed great artwork." 

"You'll do fine. And if you screw up too much, I'll help. They can't accuse your roommate of helping you with her alien powers, you know?" 

"Good point." By streetlight, I was able to see a familiar form coming towards us, "Oh, great, it's Roebuck." 

"Valenti." 

"Roebuck." 

"I saw your painting. It was -" 

"A friend of mine overheard you talking about it. She said you liked it. A lot," I smirked. This was too easy. 

"I was doing it for your sake. Maybe so Ms. Salem wouldn't flunk you." He said, raising his eyebrows. 

"You're a saint. I don't need your help. Besides, you're not even in art," _Jerk off_ I said in my mind. 

His eyes then drifted over to Tess, "Who's this? Your sister?" 

"As a matter of fa-" 

"I'm his girlfriend," Tess said quickly, wrapping an arm around my neck, and pulling herself closer to me, "I see you're alone." 

"I just broke up with my girlfriend," Roebuck said defensively. 

"Weren't you doing it for her?" She asked before he could barely finish his sentence. 

"I was doing it fine." 

"Then why'd you break up? Oh, I bet you have one of those erection disorders that you can get a free pamphlet when you call a one eight hundred number. Is that it? It's nothing to be ashamed of, if you've got a problem you should just face it head on. Oh, I shouldn't say head if that's the case." Tess is an amazing actress. And I was fighting back laughter, but she looked as if this were a completely serious matter. 

Roebuck's face was fire engine red, "My penis is fine!" 

"Good god, you don't have to scream about such matters," She said, planting a kiss on my cheek. 

Now he didn't know what to say. "Get bent, Valenti." 

"Won't be hard, we're living together." I said, daring to crack a grin, praying that I wouldn't laugh. 

"At least I have options," Roebuck said, trying to get around us, but at this time Tess was making a big show of sucking on my earlobe. 

"Who needs options when you've got..." I made a motion to her. I wrapped my arm around her and slid my hand just under the hem of her shirt. I raised an eyebrow to him and said, "Happy sex life, Roebuck." 

He stormed off, as Tess was licking my neck. Once he was around the corner we pulled away from each other and began laughing. "That was the _biggest_ load of crap I've ever heard!" She exclaimed, doubled over laughing off her ass. 

I wiped tears from my eyes, "Holy shit, that was fun. Oh my god, that was fun. I have always wanted to do something like that to that jerk. I couldn't have done that without you." 

"Of course you couldn't. Was me licking you a little much, though?" 

"Hell, no. It was perfect. Just shows how _physical_ our relationship is." I held out my arm, "Shall we continue?" 

"Of course," She replied. 

  
  
  
  
By the time we got to the restaurant, out laughter had subsided to a giggle every now and then when a flash of Roebuck's face would enter our minds. 

We had ordered and then we were just waiting for our food. I looked across the table at Tess who was checking out the guy in the table behind us. I realized that I would probably never meet anyone as great as Tess. Who else would basically hump me on the street just to make some guy jealous of me? Who else would be able to get a laugh out of me, even after my worse day? And then a terrible thought struck me. 

Oh my god, Maria was right. 

That was the worse part. I suppose maybe a crush on Tess was long in coming. Hell, I had a crush on her whenever she first moved to Roswell, and even more whenever she moved into my house. I just came to terms with those feelings one fateful prom night. Nothing there. 

Had we ever tried to discover if anything was there? _Could_ there be something? Was it possible? It's not as if we ever tried. I don't think we ever kissed. I would remember that. I know of a few times when we almost did, but it never happened. It _was_ possible, wasn't it? 

"Kyle?" 

I jumped and looked up at her, "What?" 

"Are you okay?" 

"Yeah, sure...why?" 

"Your hand is in your water. I was just trying to make sure you don't wet yourself while you're lost in thought," She answered, as she picked up a breadstick. "That could be embarrassing for us both. So, what were you thinking about?" 

Tess's skill for subject change was amazing, "Oh, nothing." 

She grinned, "Spit it out. It's something." 

"I was just thinking about what Maria said last night. You know, about you and me." 

"And your subconscious screwing?" 

I shook my head, "I never should have told you." 

"I think she's right. Why else would you spend money, money you could spend on some nice girl, on a bitch like me?" 

"You're not a bitch." 

"You always do that." 

"What?" 

She shook her head, "Whenever I say something negative about myself, you deny it. You _always_ do that." 

"Does it bother you? Should I stop trying to help your self esteem?" I asked, trying to be funny. 

"No, of course not. It's just that you've always done that. For as long as I've known you, at least the past five years, every time, every time," She smiled. "It's just nice knowing someone is behind me, no matter how much I screw up, or what I decide to do." 

"It's not just me. You've got Dad, Amy, and Maria behind you too," I said quickly. It was the truth. "Tess, you're part of our family whether you like or not. You don't have much choice anymore. You're part of the family." 

Her smile grew, "I never really had a family before. Growing up, I mean. It was just me and Nasedo. Do you know how lonely that is? He wasn't ever really my father. We weren't really that close. And look how I turned out." 

"You turned out fine," I heard myself saying. Then I smiled sheepishly, "I did it again." 

"I know, and that comment wasn't even negative. Kyle, believe me when I say this. You and your family are the best thing that ever happened to me." 

"No, Tess. You're the best thing that ever happened to my family." 

There was this long, uncomfortable silence. Then our food came, and that broke the silence. And suddenly everything was back to normal. Subconscious screwing wasn't the topic. It was like Tess and I were exactly what we were, and would always be. Brother and sister. For some reason, though, I didn't like it anymore. 

  
  
  
That night, after we got home, I went to work in my room on my next painting of Evans. This one would take a lot longer than its predecessor details and all. Instead of using color, this time, I decided to use black and white tones only. 

I could hear Tess in the other room talking loudly on the phone. Every time I heard her laughing, my heart suddenly wasn't in the painting. Finally, I had to set it aside, only a quarter finished. I walked out of my room over to Tess's open door. I just stood in the doorway and watched her for a minute. 

She was stretched out on her bed, talking on the phone. I don't know who she was talking to, but she was telling them about what had happened with Roebuck. After a few minutes she looked up at me. She grinned and pointed at the phone, _Maria_, she mouthed. 

I nodded. I don't know what came over me just then. Something bad, I'm sure. I walked over to the bed, laid down next to her. She grinned at me, and continued listening to Maria talk about something. 

Then I put my arms around Tess's neck, pulled her closer to me and kissed her hard on the mouth. 

Ten seconds later I was off the bed, and walking, running more like it, back into my room. I sat down on my bed trying to remember what her reaction was. I was too shocked to even think what _she_ thought about it. In my opinion, it wasn't bad. I didn't hear her shouting anything like _Your brother just kissed me!_ over at Ria. That was a good sign. 

"Kyle." 

I looked up at Tess. Her face was completely unreadable. She held out the phone, "Ria wants to talk to you." 

I stood up and took the phone from her, "Okay." 

She turned around and walked back to my bed. I held the phone to my ear, "What?" 

"I only have one question. Why right then?" 

"Ria, I don't know the answer to that question. What did she say about it?" 

"She was shocked." 

"No shit, I'm shocked. I don't know why I did it. It just sort of happened. It was almost like I couldn't control myself for a moment." 

"I've heard that one before," She commented. 

"You have?" 

"That's not the issue here, bro. Come on, really, why did you do it?" 

"It's your fault. You stuck it in my mind that I wanted to. This is all your fault." 

"Kyle, you're just looking for someone to blame. And I can see why. You may have just ruined everything good you have in a relationship with Tess. The way things were. You may have just screwed it all up." 

"Wow, Ria. Whenever I'm down, you just know how to pick me right back up, don't you?" I said sarcastically. "Don't you think I realize that's what I may have done? I, of course, didn't think of this _before I kissed her_." 

"That would have probably helped your case if you had." 

"Ria, I swear to you, I'm going to kick you ass the next time I see you if you don't give me something to say!" 

"Say? To her? I don't know." 

"Well, what would you do if I kissed you?" 

"For one, that's disgusting. After I got over the initial shock of it all, I'd kill you." 

"The scary part about that is Tess could actually kill me." 

Ria laughed, "Listen to me, Kyle. I'm serious. You have to go talk to her about it. Letting it hang out is not a smart move. You started it, you're going to have to finish it. Or at least set out the stones to complete it." 

"Set out the stones to complete it? What the hell does that mean?" 

"The stepping stones. We can't rule out the chance that you've only started something new, not ended something familiar." 

I sighed, "When did you start giving out decent advice?" 

"I've had this advice stored up for a while now, I've just been waiting to give it out." 

"How does one compete with greatness? You're right. I need to do something about this." 

"Yeah, baby, act like the man I know is in there somewhere," Ria said, before saying good-bye and leaving me all alone. 

I held onto the phone for a while, before I actually got up and went to Tess's room. For the first time, that I could remember, her door was closed. That was not a good sign. I knocked on it. 

"Come on in." 

I pushed the door open and she was sitting up on her bed looking at me. "Hi," I said meekly. 

"Is that all you have to say?" The sound of her voice was strange, but she wasn't angry, exactly. 

"I...well, I don't know what to say." 

"You sure had an idea of what to do," She said. "At the wrong time, I might add. You were only proving that Maria was right about you." 

"What?" I was surprised. She wasn't pissed, in fact she was acting almost normal. 

"If you had kissed me at any other time, other than when I was on the phone with her, she would never even know, but she was right. You _hate_ it when she's right. Come on, Kyle, you need to learn to have better timing than that." 

"You're not mad." It was a statement, not a question. 

"Of course not. I have this natural inability to be angry with you. Sucks sometimes, but this time I'm glad I have it." 

"You - you are?" 

"Hell, yeah. I'd be angry right now, I'm sure." 

"So, uh, you didn't like...the kiss?" 

She laughed, "It wasn't bad. It wasn't _disgusting_ or anything. Sort of weird, for being so sudden and the fact that I was on the phone with your sister played into the weirdness some." 

"Ria was right." 

"You subconsciously want to screw me?" 

"Then, yeah. Now it's very, very conscious." 

The expression on Tess's face twisted, "I - I don't know what to say. I just...Kyle, I just don't think of you like that." 

I nodded slowly, "I understand. I'm disappointed, but I understand." I echoed her words from our prom night, five years ago. 

She smiled, "This doesn't change anything, does it? I just mean the fact that you're secretly lusting after me. That doesn't make a difference...does it?" 

I reached out and pressed my lips against hers for just a moment. I pulled away, "No, it doesn't. Not at all." 

She looked a little shocked, "You're not going to...do that all the time, are you?" 

I laughed, "No, unless you want me to." 

"No thank you. I like the way things are. You know, with you graduating and all, everything's changing. I just want things to stay the same for a while. Adding in this new relationship with you of all people is just not what I need right now," Tess said, as she reached out and took my hand. "You really do understand, don't you, Kyle?" 

"Yeah, I understand. It's how I felt five years ago," I replied. 

"Boy, one day can sure twist things up, can't it? Come on, let's go do something." 

"I blew all my money on dinner." 

"It's on me, then. Ice cream, hm?" She asked, pulling me out of her room. She didn't give me a chance to reply, she just pulled me out of the apartment. 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
It's safe to say that Tess and I will never get together. No matter what I felt that day, or even for the next few weeks, it's not going to happen. I've come to terms with that, Ria's come to terms with that, and Tess is just happy that we've comes to terms with it. Nothing's there, we all know it now, and it's just going to stay that way. 

That is, until our last summer in Roswell. 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



End file.
